The Wayne Infect

Christmas Egg Hunt

2005-12-16T14:31:00.000-08:00

So, after Google posted their seasonal decorating blogpost , I started searching for the Easter Eggs on their site. Here's what I've found so far:

christmas lights - Google Search

christmas - Google Search

chanukah - Google Search

kwanzaa - Google Search

candy canes - Google Search

santa - Google Search

yule log - Google Search

IE hasLayout Bug Explanation

2005-09-06T14:16:00.000-07:00

Microsoft has put out a pretty good (and enjoyably self-implicative) reference on a lot of the bugs/quirks that IE6 suffers from currently. They mention their collaborators in their blog post as well as at the bottom of the guide. I'm relieved to see this continuing trend of community involvement from the IE devs, but my cynicism forces me to remain cautious.

Riviera Break

2005-03-02T15:58:00.000-08:00

My wife and I are heading to the Mayan Riviera this Saturday, and I can't wait to take time off from work. Things have been so busy for me. Last time we vacationed I felt so relaxed that I literally didn't have to do anything unless I wanted to do it. This time Saturday, I'll be completely snow-free and warm in Mexico!

I know that a lot of people vacation in the Riviera Maya area, so I wondered if anybody had any must-do excursions that we should do, or any fun things in that part of Mexico. We already went snorkeling in a sinkhole, cave, and inlet on one excursion. We also went to see the Mayan ruins and rode ATVs through the jungle, so those are already done. Really, anything fun/interesting would be cool, not just pre-pay tourist excursions. Any suggestions? Otherwise, I'm just going to look forward to more shovelling.

http://www.livejournal.com/~seinjunkie/18757.html?nc=4

Jobs are Overrated Anyway

2005-01-28T10:22:00.000-08:00

So, I found out yesterday that I didn't get that training job that I applied for at my work, because I basically don't have enough real-business experience using our system. The hiring supervisor informed me of that yesterday, and my current supervisor (who was also involved in the selection process) talked to me about it today. They were both saying good things about my sample presentation and sounded like I impressed them with it. But my supervisor had already told me before that he thinks I don't understand how much of the system relates to the business, because I started with this job doing software support and I'm learning inversely.

I see where he's coming from, and I agree, because I told the hiring supervisor that from the get go after he approached me about applying for the job. I told my current supervisor that I could pick up on those things pretty quickly, though, and he agreed with me. During my rejection ceremony, the (non-)hiring supervisor mentioned that I had "opened some people's eyes to my abilities and knowledge of the system," and that would be "nothing but good for me in the future." I didn't really know what he meant by that, but it obviously didn't help me in the immediate future.

Our small department had a meeting today regarding some restructuring that was going on, and my supervisor congratulated the other person (who also works for my current supervisor) on accepting the job. Then he mentioned that it was not an easy decision because I had also applied and did a really well on my sample presentation. So, he said that they might have me do some occasional training for the users. I mocked, "Wayne, we like what you did, but we want to keep you at the same pay grade."

I'm not bitter or sad about it, because I think that's obviously not where I'm supposed to be right now. But, I heard through our new guy, who's going through some claims training, that the training and development department is looking at adding another position for someone to sit with the claims people and answer any usability questions that they might have. In that light, it then made sense what the hiring supervisor had said about opening people's eyes. Are they looking into creating a position just for me? I guess that's cooler than getting the other job, except I wouldn't get to travel around the country.

Maybe it's a not going to happen. Maybe it's a rumor. It's just an honor to be nominated.

Forging Source as Never Before

2005-01-20T01:17:00.000-08:00

In my quest to legitimize my computer's applications, I ditched crackz, warez, and other unsavory terms in favor of purchasing the programs I really want or finding free alternatives to the programs that provided just as much functionality and nearly as much ease of use. Everyone who considers themselves an "advanced" computer user has heard of Linux or open source at least once. I have found that there are some really good free alternatives to commercial software, some even surpass their counterparts in important ways. Here's a small list of my favorite open source applications, in no particular order (okay, maybe organized by number of words). Let the crappy infomercial music begin!

Gaim - http://gaim.sourceforge.net

Probably the most popular open source application besides Mozilla Firefox (which I've mentioned before and I love), Gaim stays open on my desktop all day long, keeping me logged into AIM, ICQ, MSN, Yahoo!, and Jabber all without missing a beat. I combine it with Gaim-encryption when I'm talking to friends who have it so I'm not just transmitting plain text secrets all over the internet. Once you say goodbye to the stupid advertisement popups and default news tickers (yeah, so what if you can disable them?) you'll never look back from Gaim.

Azureus - http://azureus.sourceforge.net

Tons of people everyday use BitTorrent to download large files, but if you're like me, you need a more organized interface for and better control of the torrents you have running. Azureus offers a lot of control, and the options that are important to me, like a plugin for displaying a web page of all my running torrents so I can start downloading new torrents from work. It also lets you throttle the global upload speed and individual torrents' upload speed; or you can pick which files you want to download out of multi-file torrents. Also running on my computer pretty much all the time.

FileZilla - http://filezilla.sourceforge.net

Finding a free, full-featured FTP client for Windows can be tough, especially when you're picky about ease of use. That's why I was excited when I found FileZilla. It supports file-drag and drop, a handy site list, XML-stored settings and sites (so you can move them from one computer to another, or back them up before you reformat. The maker of FileZilla also makes an FTP server, which is adding more features all of the time and has the potential to become as easy to use as many commercial options like RaidenFTPd.

Ultr@VNC - http://ultravnc.sourceforge.net

VNC, for those who may not be aware, allows you to connect to another computer and remote control it like you were sitting at the monitor. Ever since I built my mom a computer, I can't be thankful enough for all VNCs. For the longest time, I was using either RealVNC or TightVNC, which were both adequate and decently featured. Until the other day, when I found Ultr@VNC on SourceForge, and I was shocked by how intuitive it was to use. It also provides a lot of neat features that other VNC clients don't have, like performing file transfers on the fly for the computer to which you're connected... that saves a lot of time! I think TightVNC has some way of doing file transfers, but it's not very easy to get to. Ultr@VNC also has an optional driver that you can install, which reduces CPU load on the host computer.

Synergy - http://synergy2.sourceforge.net

If you read my pre-Christmas snow post, you remember that I bought a second hand desk. In the picture I took of the desk, there's a laptop in between my two computer monitors. I received this old laptop with its docking station from work when they were getting rid of them all. It's way too clunky to use as an actual laptop, IMO. Plus, I don't have a wireless card, so I have to keep it docked anyway. I had tried to turn it into a Gentoo Linux box, but it was too slow to compile everything. I then changed it into an Ubuntu Linux box (which is a very newbie-friendly distribution, by the way, and stamped CDs are free, including shipping), but the old hard drive crashed in the laptop. It has most recently been converted to a Windows 2000 machine (it's Windows 98 out of the factory) and completely patched up. This is the best solution so far, because I offloaded my mIRC settings to that machine and am keeping it logged in all of the time.

I say all of that to say this: Synergy lets me slide my mouse from my dual monitors right onto my laptop and type away like I was plugged directly into the laptop! The fact that it was a breeze to set up makes it even more amazing, to me. What's even more awesome is that Synergy will work with any number of different operating systems on different machines. It can just start as a service in the background and everything else is seamless. Of course, you have to tell it where your monitors are in relation to one another. And since it sees my dual monitors as one screen, I had to push my laptop to the right of them both, which I find more intuitive now that I've done it. I've never used this laptop more often than I have since I installed Synergy, because it's so easy to use it. And if I want to play a full-screen game, just press Scroll Lock and your mouse is locked in whatever screen it's in at that moment until you press Scroll Lock again. Synergy will also syncronize your screen savers to start and end at the same time, if you want. That doesn't matter to me, though, since I don't use screen savers, really. By far, this is the neatest program I've found and I think it will keep getting better as it grows and expands. My friend and I were thinking how cool it would be to be able to drag a program window over to another computer if you wanted to make a different computer do the processing while you played a game on your main computer. There's a lot of potential for a program like this, but I think it's cool now!

Gravy and Biscuits

2005-01-16T02:37:00.000-08:00

Last time I talked about the nostromo Speedpad n52 that I received. Well, I took it back and bought the Saitek Gamer's Keyboard instead. I really like this keyboard, because the keys have good response, it's backlit, and it includes a programmable command pad that you can attach to it (which I haven't used, yet).

I also received the Plextor PX-716A DVD dual format/dual layer writer drive as a late Christmas present from my brother. I gotta tell you, I love it. I've burnt some of the shows I've been recording, if you will, to DVD and watched it on our set-top player. The writer comes with Roxio Easy CD/DVD Creator 7, but I had already purchased and installed Nero 6 last year and love it, so I see no reason to switch. The Nero suite also includes NeroVision Express 3, which lets you make very awesome menus (like animated buttons) with very little effort. It's about as close as you can get to Hollywood quality disc menus without paying exorbitant prices or riding a steep learning curve.

I mentioned before that I was applying for a different job at my work. I had the interview a few weeks ago then I made it to the second stage and gave a short 30 presentation (it's a training job) last Friday, the 7th. I was so nervous to give that presentation, because it was so unlike any speech/oral communications class in college. Instead of a grade, this is my life that I'm playing with. And I learned that higher stakes = bowel irritation. I won't hear about the results until sometime next week, I'm guessing. I'll let you know what happened as soon as I find out.

All I Want for Christmas...

2004-12-27T06:46:00.000-08:00

OK, so I didn't get get anything that I put on that list I wrote last week. Which isn't to say that I should have. I have other lists, and I got things off of that, as well. I got FarCry and Half-Life 2, as far as games go, so my free time will be devoted to those for a while. Also, I had a Nostromo Speedpad n52 on my list from a while ago... I almost forgot about it, but Em gave me that, also. I hope that I use it more than I used the now-defunct Microsoft Strategic Commander that I bought a few years ago, back when I was playing the Age of Kings: The Conquerors Expansion regularly. 3 games and $60 later, back on the keyboard... something about specialized controllers just doesn't sit well with me. So far, the Speedpad has been harmless (except for a cramp... in my left arm for once), mostly because it's really just a small subsection of a keyboard, anyway. One thing I hate is how the tiny "space bar" doesn't seem to have a tactile click at the bottom of the key press. Another thing that bugs me is that the tiny orange thumb button does have a tactile click, which doesn't seem right for the type of mushy-feeling button that it looks and feels like. It's also inconvenient to have to put that much resistance against a button that high up with so little leverage. I'm trying to be positive about it, because I did ask for it.

I also received Elf, both Seinfeld DVD sets, and Curb Your Enthusiasm Season one DVD. I figured I would like Curb Your Enthusiasm because I was such a Seinfeld fan, but after two episodes, I see that they are two very different shows. It might take a while to suspend belief enough so that I can get into the story, but so far there's only been two moments when I laughed out loud. I hope it gets better, but I did ask for it.

What type of jerk complains about what he asked for? This kind.

Last Minute Gift Ideas? No Problem

2004-12-22T08:20:00.000-08:00

I can't count how many strangers are walking right up to me and asking, "Wayne, it's almost Christmas Eve and I have no idea what to get for you or someone like you... Help!" I'd be glad to. If you're shopping for a fresh-out-of-college twenty something who just got married but tries to live like a geek/gamer when he has the chance, you may or may not have come to the right place. Read on anyways, because you don't have anything else to do.

SnapMat computer desk chair mat
I just found this yesterday, and I think it's awesome. I should probably get a rolling desk chair, first, but who cares? Who wouldn't love to have hard wood that you can roll around on instead of one of those horrible plastic/rubber things? Plus, it's expandable so you can make it snake in any direction that you want (around corners and such). Worth a look.
$269.00 for full-sized SnapMat .:. http://www.snapmat.com
Logitech® Harmony® Remote 688
Nothing excites me more than unification of functions. But with most universal remote controls, some of the more complex functions have to be ommitted in order to make it more compatible. Not with the Harmony. As I understand it, all of the buttons can be programmed to your needs from the Internet for any model of any device.
$199.88 at Amazon.com .:. http://www.harmonyremote.com
LaCie Mobile Hard Drive, Design by F.A. Porsche 100GB
This little beauty holds plenty of MP3s and movies for easy transport, and I happen to think it looks great as well. Plus, it's bus powered, so there's no stupid AC adapters or power adapter bricks to lug around. Oh, and it works with either USB or FireWire.
$349.00 .:. http://www.lacie.com
Logitech® MX™1000 Laser Cordless Mouse
The mouse to end all mouses? Increased precision from arguably the best peripheral maker in the world. No more optical sensors like the days of old. The accuracy is very tight. It also works on glossy surfaces, which the optical mice never did get right. Oh, and it's wireless! My brief spin with Bluetooth never sold me on wireless mice, but the response time for the MX-1000 is supposedly excellent. I wouldn't know because I haven't tried it out, yet. If word of mouth is any indication, I think that you can't go wrong with this mouse.
$79.95 .:. http://www.logitech.com
PX-716A DVD±R/RW CD-R/RW internal E-IDE (ATAPI) drive from Plextor®
I've always wanted a DVD writer, and after the years of DVDs being released (since 1997) just now we're able to write dual-layer discs. If you're going to jump into the DVD writer market, you might as well do it with the most reliable and typically the fastest optical drive company on the market. You really don't have any reason to not get this drive.
$149.00 .:. http://www.plextor.com

That's all for now. I'll let you know if I get any thing from that list. :)

Don't They Teach You How to Draw Blood in Med School?

2004-12-15T19:46:00.000-08:00

I've been working on drawing convincing blood in Paint Shop Pro. I basically want a fresh blood trickle running down a white background. I didn't really know where to start, but I knew that there'd be a lot of red. So, here's a sample of the methods I tried:

The left most one used a plain paintbrush stroke, which of course sucked. For the next one I laid the darkest colored stroke first, then drew recursive feathered selections within that, and tried to perform gradual fills within each selection, which worked better, but fills don't work well after the second one, because of the gradients you're filling. For the third one (the lone drop), I used the same feathered selection method, but instead set the background color to the desired shade and use the delete function to fill the entire feathered selection. That worked much better, but the blood looks too velevety, I think. I guess the difference between what I made and wet-looking blood is in the highlights, but I never took an art class. Suggestions for improvement are welcome.

Living the Journal

2004-12-10T18:58:00.000-08:00

Have you ever checked out all of the options LiveJournal gives you? I wasn't even aware you could do as much with this as you can. For startes, look at their About Livejournal page. It details many of their features, including their ability to include outside site RSS syndication into your Friends page! I guess if you have an RSS reader that you use already, that's fine, but I enjoy going to my (I think) slick-looking Friends Page every day and reading everybody's posts. So, adding my favorite RSS feeds will just make things that much easier.

Let it Snow! / Make it Stop!

2004-11-24T17:31:00.000-08:00

Today we received our first real blast of winter in Grand Rapids, with heavy amounts of snow sticking to everything. From what I've heard, people are already in the ditch driving home and it's not pretty. My ForecastFox (formerly WeatherFox) extension is telling me "Heavy Snow, 30°F. Feels like 19°F." Great, I can't wait to step outside...

On the plus side, I like snow (except to drive in and shovel). My boss also just walked by my cube before he left and said that I could knock off early if nobody was calling. And nobody's been calling, so i'm just about gone. Our assistant told me that I have 5 unused vacation days remaining that needs to be used up before the end of the year. So, I'm driving home to Maryland this Saturday and coming back Friday. Hopefully the roads will be clear by then. It would suck to bang up my new-used car.

Oh, by the way, I bought a car two weeks ago to replace my truck that I haven't had for several months, now. I guess I owe a car picture... here's from when I was test-driving it. It's a 2000 Maxima SE, manual transmission.

Since we're talking about good things, I finally got sick of working on my home computer from 2 nightstands and a plastic drawer system. So, I went out to a second-hand furniture store and picked up this real walnut executive desk for $110.

It's really spacious and make late-night gaming sessions a breeze. I also think it does wonders for my back, compared to setting a keyboard on my lap, like I've been doing since January.

Well, if sitcoms are any indication, I should be getting my car smashed or getting myself smashed and hitting some old lady/garage door/fire hydrant/telephone pole/girl on a bike on the way home. Wish me luck!

Update!
It snowed way more than it should have. Even after getting off of work 3 hours early, brushing off my car took about 15 minutes, and driving home (which usually takes 30 minutes) took 2 hours! Once I got home and ate, I had to shovel about a foot of snow from our walkway! Check it:

Roads and Cones

2004-11-19T18:51:00.000-08:00

On my way to work, I always cross the only part of a new expressway that's open. This Tuesday, the expressway opened up past where it used to stop (where I get off for work). If you live in Michigan, it goes without saying that you're going to see orange barrels everyday. There's no way around that. So, we've been putting up with the construction along the active part of M-6 for a while, now. I figured with M-6 now open, the work would pretty much stop. No such luck. My drive to work found one of the two lanes on M-6 to be coned off in both directions! Can't this stuff be worked out before the traffic is released into the wild? Road work managers are probably just as bad as video game managers with deadlines.

For a positive, a local radio station has been playing Christmas music since last week (so is Delilah, btw). I love Christmas music. I start playing it after Halloween. My brother and I went out a few years ago and bought just tons of Christmas albums at the store and ripped them onto my computer so I could make CDs of any Christmas song combination in a few minutes. So, I've had Christmas music pretty much on loop for a while now. I'm going to post a list of what I think would be different Christmas songs that someone might enjoy, so look for that.

Also, there's this randomness...

Who's been commenting in your journal?

1	36 comments	34.62% of total
2	15 comments	14.42% of total
3	11 comments	10.58% of total
4	9 comments	8.65% of total
5	9 comments	8.65% of total
6	7 comments	6.73% of total
7	4 comments	3.85% of total
8	4 comments	3.85% of total
9	3 comments	2.88% of total
10	3 comments	2.88% of total
11	1 comments	0.96% of total
12	1 comments	0.96% of total
13	1 comments	0.96% of total

These statistics were generated using the LJ Stats Web Interface by . Original idea from 's LJ Comment Stats Wizard.

Evil Deadman

2004-11-18T17:09:00.000-08:00

Slashdot is linking to a story on Bloody-Disgusting.com talking about an Evil Dead remake. Apparently, Sam Raimi is behind it, but will not direct this one. The director is still undecided. There's another thread discussing the remake on the Bloody-Disgusting site.

From The Gate's article:

Hopefully though Campbell will return as Ash, a great director will be found, and the whole Raimi gang will join in, including Raimi's brother, producer/actor Ted Raimi, who often appears as a supporting character in all of Sam Raimi's films.

There's also a bunch of Google News links to the story available.

Green Screen Got Screwed

2004-11-10T09:46:00.000-08:00

You might remember I reviewed three new shows this season that I liked a little while ago. One of them was Drew Carey's Green Screen Show. Well, sadly for the people who watched it, an article yesterday on thefutoncritic.com says that the WB is putting the show on hold for November sweeps. Sounds like the death knell for Green Screen to me.

Today, the once official page for Green Screen has mysteriously vanished and a message from a WB Green Screen forum moderator pretty much says it all:

Hi people.
The show, Drew Carey's Green Show has completed its run.
This board will be removed some time Friday night.

So, I'm guessing that means the show has no chance of returning whatsoever. However, Blue Collar TV and Reba are still not cancelled.

*sigh* Why can't improv stay on the air?

That's One Foxy Browser

2004-11-09T10:18:00.000-08:00

For the uninitiated, Mozilla Firefox has been the long-developed open source alternative to Internet Explorer, Opera, and Safari. I remember when the gecko engine that it uses was first being written from scratch at Netscape many years ago. I downloaded it and it was very much in disarray, as you might expect from an alpha demo. Years went by, and Mozilla became it's own company disctinct from Netscape. The Mozilla browser suite continued to grow more bloated than was needed, adding a built-in email client, chat client, and web editor. Purists demanded a clean standalone browser, so the Phoenix arose from the proverbial ashes to fill the gap, for legal reasons was renamed to Firebird, and once again renamed to Firefox. Today, it finally reaches the long-awaited version 1.0. I've been using Firefox non-stop for over a year, now, and I love it. I never see a pop-up ad, no problem with randomly installed toolbars or bookmarks on my machine (like I have to deal with at work every day), and it's very efficient. You can open your pages up in new tabs across the top of the browser window, instead of having a dozen copies of the browser open in your taskbar. Firefox even has an RSS feed handler built in in the form of "live bookmarks." And if you ever want to add functionality to your browser, there are lots of user-created extensions available for download that can do everything from inserting bulletin board codes to update your LiveJournal to syncronize your bookmark list across multiple computers to download every file of a certain media type on a page to blocking advertisements to even acting as an FTP client. If you haven't yet given Firefox a look, you should try it today. At the very least, every web page author should add this to their browser testing arsenal.

You can download it for Windows directly from Mozilla's currently overloaded servers or you can probably get it faster by using the Official Firefox 1.0 torrent to spread out the bandwidth load across almost a thousand users.

Gzorpe Photo Update

2004-10-29T16:16:00.000-07:00

As I mentioned before, I did make those Kix®-based Gzorpe Goodies a couple days ago. When I brought them to work yesterday, they were all gone in an hour or so. I should have made a double batch. Before I left for work, I popped open the Rubbermaid® container and took a few enlarged-to-show-texture pictures, so you would know what they look like should you decide to make them for your Halloween party. Here's the best picture I got (click for larger version):

Gzorpe Goodies, Mofos!

2004-10-27T16:46:00.000-07:00

Our work is having a Halloween food week, so I wanted to make these snacks I used to eat named Gzorpe Goodies. Long story short, these things are awesome. Rice Krispies® Treats can't hold a Snap-Crackle-candle to Gzorpe Goodies. I never liked nuts, so I always made them without, but they were always awesome. We would keep them in the fridge and they'd be gone before 24 hours were over.

After Google revealed to me that the internet holds no record of the best cereal-based snack in the history of the world, I had to phone home for my mom to send me this recipe off of the back of a really old (70s, I think) Kix® box. The box features 4 cartoon characters, I think they were all aliens, drawn in classic 70s cereal cartoon style, each with unpronounceable names (like Gzorpe) and their own Kix® recipe. I'm actually not sure if these below were really named "Gzorpe Goodies," but it is the only name I can remember off of the back of the box.

So, without further ado, I present to the world, the Internet's first known reprint of Kix® Gzorpe Goodies!

Gzorpe Goodies

3 Tbsp. butter

1/2 lb. (40) large marshmallows

4 cups Kix® cereal

1/4 cup coarsely chopped nuts

1/2 cup moist shredded coconut

4 oz. sweet or semisweet chocolate, melted

Melt butter and marshmallows over low heat, stirring constantly. Remove from heat. Stir in Kix, nuts and coconut. Turn out into buttered 8- or 9- inch square pan. With piece of waxed paper, pat out mixture evenly in pan.

Pour melted chocolate over top; spread in a thin layer. Chill until set, 45 to 60 minutes. Cut into 2 x 1-inch bars. Makes 32 bars.

No More Jackin' O' Lantern

2004-10-26T14:11:00.000-07:00

This will be our first Halloween after marriage. It's not as romantic as your first anniversary, and nowhere near as cool as your first Christmas (my favorite holiday), but we did get this humongous pumpkin from the pumpkin patch.

In case you can't make it out, it says "1^st HALLO-WEEN." You also might be able to make out some chunks in the shape of mole claw scratches missing below the second 'L' and below the first 'E.' These happened before I even carved the pumpkin. Yes, we have a mole problem.

We should be getting the candle for it today, so I'm excited about that. Unfortunately, neither of us will be around for trick-or-treaters, so I'll be toasting the kids as I devour their bags and bags of Milky Way® Midnight Miniatures(my favorite candy and also something you vegans can't enjoy [after all, nougat contains egg whites]).

Pumpkin Patch Adams

2004-10-22T20:24:00.000-07:00

We went to the pumpkin patch a few weeks ago, but I neglected to put up any pictures. In the back of my mind, I thought of 's pumpkin background post last year, and I really wanted to find something that cool. I don't think I got exactly what I wanted, so I decided to present my favorite 2 shots for you here. I may post more alternatives tomorrow.

If you want to use them, click on the picture to download the images at 1600 x 1200 (485KB)

Should You? No.

2004-10-19T19:28:00.000-07:00

Do I hate it when people answer their own questions? Yes.
Did somebody do it today at work? Of course they did.
Did it irritate me? More than anything.
Is it funny when I do it? Without a doubt, yes.
Will I continue to answer my own questions? Absolutely.

Where Entertainment News Comes First or Not at All

2004-10-15T09:33:00.001-07:00

My friend dailygrant has posted a brief synopsis of the big three networks' current line-up for this season. If you were intrigued by my analysis of the three shows I watch... or even if you weren't, then this could have some relevance to you. As he says, "Essentially I just regurgitated what every other website has told you seventeen times already, but now you get it with spelling and grammatical errors!"

Where Entertainment News Comes First or Not at All

2004-10-15T09:33:00.000-07:00

Star Wars Film Changes Comparison

2004-10-14T17:20:00.000-07:00

DVDAnswers.com has a comparison of the original Star Wars: New Hope, 1997 Special Edition, and the new DVD release. The site is currently being Slashdotted, but I think it's an interesting read. It shows screenshots of each scene, and points out the differences and/or inconsistencies, as Star Wars fans love to do. I think it's funny how the author nitpicks at the slightest details throughout the article with great fervor, but he nver btohred ot splel chck ihs ow atricle.

Do You Like to Watch?

2004-10-13T18:37:00.000-07:00

For those of you paying attention, two Sunday ago Aqua Teen Hunger Force listed Veronica Billingsley as the voice of stripper Dusty Gonzagas. Kids in the Hall fans will be happy to know that Scott Thompson performed Veronica's voice.

Also, apparently, the Big Reveal show of Last Comic Standing 3 got bumped off of NBC and put onto Comedy Central, but nobody knows the details of when the show will air. LCS Fans were treated with Father of the Pride, in its place. Don't worry, the official Last Comic Standing website announces that Alonzo Bodden was the winner, which is kind of sad for me. I think that there were better comics out there, but Alonzo had the best set on the finale, and that's all we can go on. I think the crowd hadn't been properly warmed for the first few comics, so that made it extra tough. By the time Alonzo took stage, they were ready to laugh. Personally, I think Dave Mordal from Season 1 should have won. He was the sleeper this season and he came up through the ranks to beat LCS1's champ Dat Phan and Ralphie May, both of whom haven't given an outstanding set since I've been watching. Oh well, on to the real post.

My work schedule prohibits me from being a TV devotee, as I'm getting home well after 9:00 pm. However, through the means of what I like to call "delayed TiVo," I don't have to miss the shows I like. Here are some new shows that caught my attention:

The Venture Brothers was created by Chris McCullough, a former writer for The Tick animated series and the short-lived live action show. Ten episodes into the series, I believe it is one of the strongest performers in the Adult Swim line up. It's a like double parody of Jonny Quest and the Hardy Boys, and you'll be hard pressed to find a better parody. It stars Patrick Warburton as the voice of Brock Samson and has already seen Stephen Colbert as a guest voice. It's tough to pick out any one thing that makes this show funny. It could be the twin brothers who, despite having the show named after them, do nothing substantial and are complete idiots. It might be they way the super arch-enemies adhere to protocol in their evil doings and their casual life. Maybe it's Patrick Warburton's hilarious deadpan delivery. Across the board, though, this show is the most watchable thing on television, I think.

Drew Carey's Green Screen Show is a spin off of Whose Line is it Anyway?... oh, whoops, that's not the WLIIA site... I don't know what that is... let me see here it is. Anyway, if you like Whose Line, statistics show that you probably won't like Green Screen. I have no idea why. The show mixes the classic improvisation with supplemental animation added later. I love Improv, and I'd love to be in an Improv troupe some time. The Green Screen Show is just like Whose Line, without Ryan Stiles or Wayne Brady, but it still has Colin Mochrie, Greg Proops and many other frequent cast members. What many people fail to realize, is that Colin was the real gem in Whose Line. Ryan is funny, but needs Colin for a lot. Wayne is like a snowball, and is just popular for being Wayne. Green Screen gives the other members a chance to shine, without the crowd catering too much to Ryan or Wayne. The animation did not at all hurt the direction of the show. I believe it works, because you really don't notice it after a while. Animators do a spectacular job providing environments, costumes, and props later on. The biggest issue with Green Screen are the two words preceding it, "Drew Carey" (we're leaving off the apostrophe and the 's' to save space). I liked Drew's role in Whose Line because he was off to the side, not performing improv except at the end, and just laughing. On Green Screen, he's on the stage like everyone else, performing improv, and still laughing. I don't think he's as quick-witted as other cast members, either. But, after watching the show, if he didn't get up on stage, he would just be a producer. Still, this show has a lot of potential, assuming it can beat back the fans of Whose Line, who are this show's biggest critics.

Desperate Housewives is not the show I thought it was going to be. The name conjured up pictures of a trashy, Melrose Place-y show where adultery was rampant. Instead, it's a very funny show that casts the nuances of women in many different lights. As someone I work with put it, "It's quirky." I didn't think I'd be sitting down to watch it on Sunday night, but I am. I think it deserves a watch from you.

All in all, I'm surprised by what each show has delivered. I had just about given up on TV, but now... I like to watch.

Stupid Human Tricks

2004-10-12T16:08:00.000-07:00

I thought of this bumper sticker yesterday. Turns out, Son of the Beach beat me to the punch. By the way, I'm now subscribing to the "Marcus Hart Border-Every-Image-you-use-with-1-Pixel-of-Black" school of thought.

I was looking for a program to use at work to do the following:

Open TIFF files that Windows Picture and Fax Viewer and Paint Shop Pro can't, for no reason.
Batch convert those same TIFF files to the format of my choice.

My answer came back: Unidream Power Batch. It converts any image format to any image format, applying basic resizing, watermarking, or other effects in the meantime, and renames the files, too. It also includes a built-in FTP client. It was also able to open up the multi-page TIFF files that Windows and PSP couldn't. Oh, and it's freeware.

All Rise, the trial of Freddy v. Jason will begin, the honorable marcus132 presiding

2004-10-11T18:00:00.000-07:00

Oh man, you totally will not believe what I just found on eBay! It's a Freddy vs. Jason Halloween costume!

http://cgi.ebay.com/ws/eBayISAPI.dll?ViewItem&item=5526912705#ebayphotohosting

That's so crazy, isn't it? Buy it.

I Dream of Cleaning

2004-10-07T02:20:00.000-07:00

After we got married and moved into our house, we needed a vaccuum cleaner. We hadn't registered for anything prior to the wedding, because it wasn't something we thought much about. On our flight back from the honeymoon, the in-flight magazine had story about James Dyson creator of the UK-based Dyson vaccuum cleaner. The article talked about how after he invented the cyclone technology and how companies like Hoover basically ripped it off before it really hit America, or something to that effect. Before producing a final design, the Dyson went through hundreds of prototypes, resulting in a feature-filled vaccuum. We were so excited about the vaccuum, but we hadn't yet seen the Dyson anywhere. Coincidentally, when we were completing our registry we saw a Dyson among all the other vaccuums and decided to use the extra money we had from returning stuff for that.

It was one of the best things we got. It's extremely versatile and practical and is (strangely) fun. The handle detaches to become the hose and extension attachment. The hepa filter is washable. The connectors near the motor are detachable for easy clearing. It's also bagless and easy to empty. Everything just works, and that's a very nice feeling to have. When we replace our washing machine, assuming it's available then, I'd like to get the Dyson washer.
Oh, and while I was digging around the Dyson website, I saw they have a cool telescoping flash game you can play. What other vaccuum website has that?

2004-09-23T17:30:00.000-07:00

My boss was yelling at me today and he said "ignorance is no excuse."

I said, "Noone ever told me that."

Old Joke Becomes Even Less Funny

2004-08-27T18:36:00.000-07:00

Much to the chagrin of possibly dozens of teenagers, Amazon is now listing a real Playstation 3 on their Japanese website. In a bold move, Sony will proceed as planned and refuses to skip a version number in honor of the infamous misinformer's PS3 Sneak Preview article. One insider at Sony of America, on the condition of anonimity, agreed to disclose the lack of some long-awaited features.

"The first thing you notice, right off the bat... no Clapper."

In an effort to shave licensing costs, Sony decided against the Clapper in a last minute decision, replacing it with acoustic ceiling tiles. He also said that we can kiss our Pac-Man Game goodbye. More license disputes with Namco ended in a grisly compromise that resulted in the bundling of a limited version of Mappy Land.

But most disappointing is the decision to stop supporting SyQuest. It's another controversial decision that may cripple the PS3's appeal to younger gamers who rely upon SyQuest for groundbreaking new technology.

In a world where few game companies fight to be king, will Sony's gamble pay off?

... and I Just Want to Dance, Dance, Dance

2004-08-27T15:34:00.000-07:00

Who's watching Kilborn's last show tonight?

"Friends of the show" planning to drop by tonight include Will Ferrell, Marlee Matlin, Martin Mull and Adam West, along with Wayne Newton via satellite from Las Vegas.

I would say that it's sad to see him go, but I can't claim fanhood in this instance. This has long been a show that's on my "to watch list," but I never had the chance to actually be a fanatic. I still prefer Craig to Jon Stewart on The Daily Show. It's probably because I don't care for political humor, and Kilborn's TDS had more of the odd stories that had me rolling. I also enjoy Craig's delivery. It's fun to watch him work.

I'm going to be planted firmly in front of my TV, tonight: CBS, 12:35 a.m. ET/PT.

Last Post Linking

2004-08-12T19:11:00.000-07:00

I admit it, I've been "keeping up" with Last Comic Standing, this season. I like very little about reality shows, but I love stand up. So, this was just another way to saturate myself with that. I had to put in some overtime at first, because I missed the first 5 or so episodes.

When I saw that Pablo Francisco was on the show in the beginning, I was rooting for him. He didn't make it past the semi-finals, but that's OK. By then, I had discovered Dan Naturman. I thought he was hilarious, also. He never made it into the house, though (which was BS, but whatever). I found out that I also enjoy Tom Cotter and his "Comedy Central Presents" show. He also never made it into the house.

Now, that it's down to the results of the final 3 comedians. I can say that John Heffron has been my pick of the house since before he was in there. I thought he was the only one that didn't irritate the crap out of me. Looking towards the minutes before the big reveal show, I hope that Heffron wins. Gary's funny, and I laugh out loud at some of his jokes, but he doesn't have the same charisma and energy that John does. Alonzo never really did it for me. He's funny, but his delivery is kind of awkward. I think Kathleen would have been a better pick for the final 3.

Other comedians I like? Brian Regan, Jim Gaffigan, and Dane Cook to name just a few.

Oh, and speaking of things I like, Seinfeld seasons 1-3 are coming to DVD (also available as 1-2 and 3). Don't forget about Space Ghost Vol. 2, Aqua Teen Vol. 3, and Looney Tunes Golden Collection Vol. 2.

A Short Bathroom Break

2004-08-05T15:33:00.000-07:00

At work, I walked into the bathroom while my lunch was heating up and saw that since the one adult-sized urinal was occupied, I would have to use the little-person urinal. That's fine. Though, I usually prefer to stand with the top of the thing at least above my waist, but what am I gonna do? So, I step up and realize that the shaven-head guy using the normal porcelain is a whole foot shorter than me! Why would a ~5 foot person use the big boy toilet? He probably has to arc his stream to hit the right angle, anyway.

I think I saw him on his tippy toes. I ran and told the teacher on him.

Supporting the Short Bus

2004-08-02T20:22:00.000-07:00

Has anybody heard of Bookmarks Synchronizer? It's a handy little gadget that allows you to keep, say, your work Firefox bookmarks synced with your home Firefox bookmarks. Great. Wonderful. How's it work? It automatically uploads and downloads your bookmarks from a central server. Okay.

What if your work doesn't allow you to use FTP? Well, they came out with a version of the Synchronizer that uses HTTP or HTTPS. Excellent.

What if you couldn't find any way at all to connect to your online storage space via HTTP? What would you do? Contact tech support, right? Of course!

What if your tech support couldn't support their way out of a paper bag?

Sean > Thank you for contacting Comcast. My name is Sean. May I have
your name please?
welgin > Hi, my name is Wayne
Sean > What can I do for you today?
welgin > I'm trying to use my online storage folder for synchronizing
my bookmarks with Mozilla Firefox, and the synchronizer that I'm using
asks me for either an HTTP, or HTTPS host so that I can upload my
bookmarks file to it. What is a host address that I can use for
Comcast with my userid and password?
welgin > I have already tried using upload.comcast.net, but that isn't
working. I also tried home.comcast.net and webauth.comcast.net.
Sean > The address you need in order to upload your files using ftp
is: ftp://upload.comcast.net
welgin > I cannot use FTP from work because we have firewall. Is there
an address I can use for HTTP or HTTPS?
Sean > Well that http uploader.
Sean > Login to the www.comcast.net website,
*** somehow, my cursor focus moves over to the End Session button
before I can stop his idiotic answer and we get disconnected ***
Sean > Because you've left the chat room, I will now close this chat
session. Thank you for contacting Comcast.
Sean > Analyst has closed chat and left the room

*** I connect to Live Chat Support again ***

Anna > Thank you for contacting Comcast. My name is Anna. How may I help you?
welgin > Hi Anna, I was just talking with Sean and my cursor focus
somehow changed and accidentally ended our session...
Anna > Hello, am I chatting with Wayne?
welgin > Yes
Anna > Unfortunately, we do not have the ability to transfer chat
sessions, so I will be unable to reconnect you with that agent. How
can I assist you?
welgin > I am looking for a way to upload files into online storage
via HTTP or HTTPS. I cannot use FTP because of a work firewall issue.
I am trying to automate the file transfer, similar to how FTP can be
automated, but using HTTP only. I do not wish to use the HTTP file
loader because it doesn't allow me to automate the transfers using a
userid and password.
Anna > You can upload files to your webspace by using Internet
Explorer. Type ftp://upload.comcast.net into the address bar. You
will then be prompted to enter your username and password. Once
you've signed in, you can simply drag and drop the files into that
window.
welgin > Unfortunately, even that method uses FTP to upload files.
And, as I mentioned, the entire FTP protocol is being blocked by my
work's firewall.
Anna > Unfortunately, I'm not aware of any other method of
transferring files to your webspace without using FTP. If you're
unable or resticted from using FTP at work, contact your company's IT
department or wait until you're home to upload files.
welgin > Ok, thanks for your time.
Anna > Thank you for contacting Comcast. Have a nice evening.

Argh! Am I the only decent tech support left on this entire planet?

Watch What Happens When Scott Baio Tries to Say "She Sells Seashells Down by the Sea Shore"

2004-07-27T00:41:00.000-07:00

I know that most people who read this journal probably never get to see the journal design. That's why I wanted to point out to you some of the changes I made.

I had started a while back taking the generic Generator style of LJ and making it custom fit to my website's colors. Every so often, I tweak the colors and other stuff in the LJ page to my liking. However, I felt like there was something missing. I thought that the right accent would help the page. I went out looking for seashell line art to be used as an accent. The first line art I used just didn't do it for me. It was just too plain. So, I kept looking. I had to search hard for it, but I finally found a simple seashell drawing to put on my page. Thanks to Siara at utopiarocks.com for kindly letting me use a slightly modified version of her art for decoration. I think the result is impressive. I'm still experimenting with stuff and no doubt the journal will change again. So, if you're bored sometime, check out my journal's design and let me know what you think of it.

That Explains Why Nobody Visits Montana

2004-07-23T12:36:00.000-07:00

Today, I dragged myself out of the comfort of my cool down comforter and my messed up hair at the ridiculously early time of 9:15. Why would I awaken at such an ungodly hour? To mow the lawn, of course!

I, like millions of young boys (err... notice the comma there), was forced to cut the grass in my house after my older brothers were working and didn't have enough time to do it, anymore. I also ran a small business on the side for cutting the lawns of neighbors and whoever wanted to give me a pittance. I never liked grass-cutting unless it met at least one of the following criterion:

I cut with a ride-on mower
I cut with a ride-behind mower (or I would cut with one of those sulkies, too)
I cut with headphones on (with music, preferrably)
I let the Robomower cut the lawn

But, times have changed... my music is now in MP3s, and my MP3 player USB cable isn't working anymore, and the only mower we have is a walk behind that was generously donated to us by a relative.

I learned through my years of acting like I know how to cut lawns while people gave me money, that you should vary your cuts every time so that the grass doesn't grow at odd angles. So, the front yard (or door yard, for the New Englanders) received the diagonal cut and the back yard got the concentric cut. About half-way through the back yard, I realized that the grass remaining in the center perfectly matched the shape of Nevada.

It was only a few logical steps later that I discovered that Nevada was actually in my back yard! Somehow, the rest of the world never realized it, but the "wide open" state is actually in a white trash neighborhood in Michigan. I didn't believe it myself, until I saw further proof. I looked where Las Vegas should be and I saw a bustling anthill. The ants had rigged up a complicated light fountain that was really amazing. I believe I saw several with Spock ears, but I can't be sure. I marched up north a bit looking for Reno and, sure enough, there it was... a sizable hole in the ground.

Still living in disbelief, I had to prove one more thing. Directly to the southwest of Nevada was our neigborhood's runoff. Who knew southern California would be here, too?

If There's a Line, He'll Cross It

2004-07-22T17:38:00.000-07:00

There's this guy at work, Mike-- which doesn't matter because there's like 10 Mikes around my area-- he does the most annoying thing... every day he's at work. There's a guy in the cube behind me whose last name is Parent. Whenever Mike walks past this guy's cube, and if he's in there, Mike will say, "Meet the parent." EVERY day, at least once a day, in the exact same tone, with the exact same inflection, and nobody thinks it's funny. In fact, it's gotten downright annoying. Why in the world would you lower yourself to a bad half-joke every day of your working life? Maybe he's senile. I know he's already cross eyed.

He also makes a point to ask me, "How's married life?" whenever we make awkward, cross eye contact. Also the exact same way every time. It takes everything in me to keep from beating the crap out of him after 7 months of putting up with it. I don't know how the guy he says it to deals with it. I would have ripped his eyes out (no cross-eyed joke intended).

Recycling for Fun and Profit

2004-07-20T18:35:00.000-07:00

[as Quentin Tarantino for no apparent reason]

So, I live in Michigan, now, ok? and Michigan has this Bottle Deposit Law, ok? so, I pay 10 cents for every bottle or can I buy, right? so, I take my bottles and cans back to the store, right? and I put the cans in this recycle machine, ok? and it prints out this receipt, right? and I can take the receipt to the cashier and use it like money to pay for more food, ok? sooooo, I get this idea, right? I can get a whole bunch of bottles, right? from back home in Maryland, ok? and I can take 'em all to the store, ok? and get tons of money for all those freaking bottles, right? without having to pay the 10 cents, ok? so, I tell my family, ok? to save all of their bottles and cans, right? and to make sure that they have MI 10¢ on the side, ok? so that the bottles will be refundable, ok? so, I take these bottles there, ok? to the grocery store, right? and they won't take the bottles, right? so I ask the guy there, like, "Why isn't it taking the bottles?" right? he tells me that the store has to sell the product you are returning, or else you can't recycle it, right? so, long story short, ok? so now, I've got bags of bottles that I totally can't return!

I mean is that crazy or what? Doesn't that just blow your freakin' mind?

Bicycle Built for Who?

2004-07-14T19:35:00.000-07:00

So, me and the wife decided to lay down some serious cash the other day for 2 Giant OCR-3s at our local Village Bike Shop the other day. We went on Saturday to look at different bikes and test ride them around for a few hours and got fitted for size. Then, we decided on those Giants. We didn't buy them until Tuesday because the shop was having a 10% off sale.

I'm kind of excited to get back into biking. Haven't ridden since I got the license. Maybe it's just me, maybe it's because I'm used to mountain bikes, but this seat that comes with the OCR-3 seriously hurts what Emily calls my ischium (I believe). I might need to get one more comfortable. I cannot ride for extended periods with that much discomfort. Maybe I'm sitting on it wrong, but something has to be done. I don't like the stirrups on the pedals, either. They're a pain to slip into.

Here's a tip: One-strap backpacks suck while riding a bike. The stupid thing kept rotating around to my front, causing me to have to jerk it around back in order to ride right. Oh, and jerking your backpack to the front causes your bike to wobble on the road. And wobbling bikes on the road cause drivers to want to not get close to you or cause your brains to end up in a wheel well.

Way to go Nike! *thumbs up*

Interest Meme

2004-07-08T23:02:00.000-07:00

I've been looking for something similar to this meme, and I found it tonight on 's lj... With the exception of anime, Cowboy Bebop, and Star Trek, it pretty much nailed me:

Based on the lj interests lists of those who share my more unusual interests, the interests suggestion meme thinks I might be interested in
1. reading score: 4
2. nintendo score: 4
3. divx score: 4
4. anime score: 4
5. dvd score: 4
6. music score: 3
7. dogs score: 3
8. satire score: 3
9. beck score: 3
10. the beatles score: 3
11. cowboy bebop score: 3
12. monty python score: 3
13. deviantart score: 3
14. the simpsons score: 3
15. science fiction score: 3
16. linux score: 3
17. star trek score: 3
18. weezer score: 3
19. mp3 score: 3
20. they might be giants score: 3

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Chicken-Monkey-Rooster Dirty Reuben Love

2004-07-07T11:07:00.000-07:00

First of all, you people all really need to watch The Anchorman's music video "Afternoon Delight." I love Will Ferrell.

Secondly, I had the weirdest dream the other night. I dreamt that I was in this science lab with these two scientists. I walked in the lab as one of the scientists were forcing this monkey to have sex with a hen, while the other scientist was forcing the rooster to watch. The rooster kept trying to look away, but the scientist was forcing his head to look. It might have been the sickest of my dreams. Luckily, they were only small animals.

Anyways, I'm off to make my lunch and head to work.

2004-07-06T18:01:00.000-07:00

Why is it that when people think something is really funny, they call it "genius," but when an actual genius says something that he thought was funny, he's the only one laughing?

Might Snatch Ya Necklace

2004-06-25T19:43:00.000-07:00

Before I begin, I'd like to say that this stuff... is the best freakin' ramen on the planet. Go get a few boxes from your local Oriental marketplace, today! I'm not kidding.

OK, so I used the headset two nights ago and the clarity on it was awesome. I really did like it. My friend and I tried it out on his SoF2 server that was running TeamSpeak. The problem with that was his server is in Oregon, and I'm in Michigan. His voice came across OK, but mine was apparently very choppy. I guess my upstream can't handle that distance.

I suggested that we try out Skype, since it was supposed to have excellent clarity even over great distances (because of the nature of it's P2P model). Immediately, we could tell the difference between the two. Skype required no tweaking or set-up and was immediately functional. The sound quality was incredible and didn't bog down either of our connections. It's like a TeamSpeaker's dream come true. Now, we don't have to clog the server's bandwidth and we can still speak to each other. Plus, it will work with any game, because it's a completely independent program. It's meant to be used for general VoIP chat.

Sorry if I'm coming across as a Skype evangelist, but we really do love it. I hope it never gets bogged down with spyware/adware/malware like KaZaa did (Skype is made by the makers of KaZaa [but not the same people who bought KaZaa out, changed the EULA, and inserted all of the spyware]). If not, I could see myself using it forever. Even though, when my wife woke up and saw me on the computer, she said I looked like a dork and a telemarketer. I tend to disagree. Either way, we talked over Skype for about 3:50.

So, that makes my two, new best electronic friends Skype and Gmail. I love both, equally. Screw Hotmail. Before Google announced their free gig, Hotmail's "extra storage" accounts (of which, I am a member) only carried 10MB, it still had several large, annoying ads on each page, and we were paying $15 a year for that!

I started moving all of my old e-mails over to Gmail from Hotmail so I can cancel my account. They sent me a notice about the upgrades they plan on doing. According to that e-mail, my current account will be upgraded to 2GB of storage, plus the ability to send 20MB attachments.

Oh yeah? Where was all this hospitality before April 1st? IIRC, Hotmail, you were increasing my costs and keeping my storage the same at the beginning of this year. If the last two years of "extra storage" has taught me anything, it's that Microsoft refuses to innovate unless they are financially threatened. Even still, with all of MS's funding, they still are only handing out 250MB for free accounts. For a company who loves to claim that in a few years, hardware will be free, they sure hate to part with their own. I for one welcome our new gigabyte overlords.

What did we learn?

2004-06-18T19:01:00.000-07:00

Here's a tip: don't wear two items of clothing with a button fly at the same time.

I never thought I would need to coordinate my underwear fly with my pants fly, but when I go to the bathroom it takes like a thousand hours to undo.

I am looking to get a gaming headset since my Unreal Tournament 2004: Special Edition DVD from Best Buy deal fell through a few months ago. So, I'm looking at the Plantronics DSP-500 and I see that they released a special Counterstrike Edition with different colors. It's also substantially less expensive than the normal one and is listed as an OEM product. It sounds good, but I don't know if I like the bright colors.

Do you think it's too bright?

It's hard for me to tell if it's going to be cool bright or I-didn't-think-you-could-look-like-more-of-an-idiot-than-you-already-do-wearing-a-headset-but-boy-you-managed-to-pull-that-off bright.

Comments? Opinions? Questions? Lapdances?

It Don't Get No Righter

2004-06-16T19:12:00.000-07:00

So, what have I been up to?

Well, I just got married, so what do you think? Oh yeah, that's right... lots and lots of computer games.

I'm trying to change jobs, too, which is always scary for me... I like change for most things, but I hate the process of getting a job. It's all so subjective and unsure. There's 80 million things that you're supposed to do and I forget to do all of them.

I want to get a good portfolio built up so that I can show it off to my potential employers. But, I haven't had much time to work on my web site code. Believe it or not, I want to be a web site programmer and, right now, that site looks like crap. Angelfire doesn't work with fully working XHTML of any type. The advertisement at the top of the page goes away and leaves the following in its place:

 "); //--> "); //-->

You figure that out... How can someone write code that poorly? I've tried making the DOCTYPE less strict, but it still messes up... I need to switch to a better page provider. Angelfire is too screwed up for me.

I also want to showcase the other web site projects I've worked on over the years, but I will either have to compromise to screenshots or to a simulation of the ASPs that I made, because it's tough to reproduce the entire web site and still be proud of it. Don't get me wrong, I wrote some great code, but on collaborative projects, much of the final result is sub-par for me. I'd have to sort of restrict it to only pages I wrote. I also don't want to be taking credit for others' work, because some of them did decent jobs.

Today, my wife called me and said that someone in our church might be interested in hiring web site developers because they need more for contracts they have. I'm all about that, if it's legit.

After moving to Michigan, I've been confronted probably 3 times by college-age people who will just walk up to you and start talking to you about how you look familiar and ask you where you're from and tell an anecdote about how they relate to you... then they awkwardly switch gears and start asking you if you're an adventurous person or if you consider yourself open-minded. Why don't they just say, "Do you want to give me lots of money?" like the people in DC do? I guess I'm used to a more up front type of hustler. Firstly, I hate preppy guys. Secondly, I hate outgoing people. Thirdly, I hate scams. Fourthly, I like money. Those four reasons are what allow me to just laugh while they were so happy that they had smoothly made it all the way up to "the pitch." If I ever resort to offering "business opportunities" like that, shoot me dead.

First Post!

2004-06-14T12:46:00.000-07:00

I am so happy to be in America!
More on me @ http://www.livejournal.com/users/seinjunkie/

Sites you should have already seen

2004-06-11T00:42:00.000-07:00

I just thought about some sites that I've enjoyed over the past 7 years or so that I become so stingy with, that sometimes I forget to share things with you. Forgive me? OK... Enjoy the crap out of these:
Jamming a Pair of Scissors Repeatedly Into Your Crotch
Bonsai Kitten
Lime Cat is not pleased
The Oracle of Bacon at Virginia

There's probably more that I can't think of right now... what other entertaining sites should be in this list?

I Now Present to You... Mr. and Mrs. SeinJunkie

2004-06-07T19:08:00.000-07:00

Wow! It's been more than 2 weeks since I've been married. I still like it, but then, anyone will like marriage with the right person. The only thing that grooms-to-be need to consider is the weight of the wedding band

when typing/playing games. I had considered it when looking at rings, but in the end, I didn't want my hands to look feminine just so I could have a lighter ring finger. So, I just pop it off when I'm playing, which is handy.

I totally have to upload some of my wedding/honeymoon pictures here soon. We went to the Riviera Maya in Mexico. It's about 40 minutes south of Cancun. I didn't want to go to Cancun itself, because it's such a teenager/college town. I had been recommended to go to Aventura Spa Palace by a friend over IRC (there's also a site here confusingly). The great thing about Aventura Spa was that it was 18+ only. It also had a nice spa there and the reviews it received was very positive. ASP looked awesome and I was really psyched about it, but after talking with some travel agents, I wasn't positive about the price.

The last travel agent I spoke with recommended Secrets Capri as an alternative to ASP. It too was adults only, and it had just opened last fall. They were also having a deal at the time that made Secrets cost substantially less than ASP (I have been told since then, that Secrets is more expensive sometimes). At any rate, Secrets Capri was tons of fun. To begin talking about it is almost pointless. It was just awesome. We completely relaxed the whole time. You couldn't find stress there if you were looking for it. I have a feeling that even my mother-in-law wouldn't stress out there (Okay, that's pushing it). Everything really was great, though. I would easily recommend it to anybody. The staff was friendly, the place was beautiful, the drinks were free, the meals were orgasmic (and didn't require reservations like the other resorts in that area). To put it mildly, this was the definition of "holiday."

Anyway, gotta go. Like I said, I'll have to post more pictures later.

Like 48 Hours, yo

2004-05-19T19:20:00.000-07:00

Wow... time is running short on singularity, if you know what I mean.

The stress building alone is enough to necessitate a honeymoon. And all today, I've felt kind of nervous/sick. It's almost exactly the feeling you get when you're about to step out from behind the curtain and onto the center stage... but all day long. I just know that tomorrow and the next day is going to drive me crazy. Maybe a morning wedding would be better so I can get it over with and I won't be all shakey for most of the day.

I stayed up until 5:30am today trying to finish up our kitchen cupboards (a project that we started about 3 months ago). I got a lot of the work done, but I ended up waking up in the middle of the doors on the floor. I feel surprisingly awake for only getting 4 hours of sleep, or so. But, there's still a bit left to do on the cupboards tonight. I just hope I can stay awake.

After this post, I probably won't make any entries or be seen much at all until 2 weeks from now. Maybe, if you're good, I'll put some pictures of our trip up somewhere. Right now, though, I gotta go get my hair cut and my eyebrows waxed.

Wish me luck, people.

You Want to Go Where Everybody Knows Your Name

2004-05-13T00:13:00.000-07:00

Wedding time is getting a lot closer now.

8 Days or
1.14285714285714 Weeks or
0.2628336755647 Months or
0.0219028062971 Years...

until I get married. Stress gets increasingly higher now, obviously. I can hear the proverbial clicking of the chain pulling me to the top of the hill.

It's a good kind of anticipation. Delightful. Ten days from right now, I'll be on my honeymoon (most likely not updating my livejournal, though :). I'll bring back something for my LJ friends, don't worry.

Oh, and don't eat pizza at 1:00am right before you go to bed, or while you're watching Schindler's List. You'll either have awfully strange dreams, or you'll feel nauseated.

Hooray Angelfire!

2004-05-06T22:49:00.000-07:00

Today, Angelfire blocked my images from coming through to a non-Angelfire page (like a LiveJournal). Just like that. I guess it has a limited amount of bandwidth you can take from a free site. So, I quickly switched them over to my Comcast page which hopefully has more tolerance for that stuff.

I found out Monday that my truck has a cracked piston and will need a new engine if I am to get it running again. Yeah, right on that.

So, I'm looking for a used truck/vehicle in the Grand Rapids area this month that will get me to work dependably. If I drove around in a 1991 ivory-colored Isuzu for this long, I can't be that picky, right?

'Coz It's Hi in de Middle and Wound on Bof' Ends

2004-05-03T19:06:00.000-07:00

For whatever reason, I went through my digital camera's vast repository of images today. I found this sign for a restaurant that me and Em saw when driving between Ohio and Michigan.
"You've got to stop! ... Turn around, you passed it!"
It might have just been because it was so late that this struck us as hilarious, but we took several pictures anyway. This is the clearest shot.

Bonus! I've also included a shot of what happens when fruit gets fermented (and you have too much time at work). Just perfect for a May flowers wallpaper.

A Week of Mondays

2004-04-30T20:46:00.000-07:00

Ugh... I'm on call this weekend again. Gotta get my hours in now so I can take time off for the honeymoon. ¡Arriba!
Before I leave for work, something possessed me to take a picture of my cube and post it on the LJ... choke on it.

A Monumental Dream

2004-04-30T13:51:00.000-07:00

Last night (or, more appropriately, early this morning) I had a dream that I visited the revamped "Yes, it takes you to the Washington Monument home page, moron.">Washington Monument (they just finished remodelling it not too long ago, but I haven't visited it, yet... the lines were always packed), but they had removed some of the corners of it so you could see inside. And there was this line of tourists going up the stairs inside the monument. The line was really long. I didn't feel like waiting in that long line to go to the top, so, somehow, I sneaked up a sort of secret elevator to the top (I know they have a few public elevators, but they weren't there in my dream, ok?). After I went to the top, I met a monument worker. He wanted me to get to the front of the line, so he opened a door and pushed me into the room. When I looked around, I saw the front of the humongous line. I was actually in front of everyone.

What was the line for? It was one of those electric-tour Hershey's-Chocolate-World-type of rides coming out of the top of the monument. I guess it took you above DC or something (which isn't too bad of an idea). The guy who was next in line was all mad because I stepped out in front of him. So, instead of riding, I ran back out of the side entrance and went into the innerworks of the monument. There was a bunch of tour-car seats and headrests lying around. What was really amazing was that there was a loading dock at the top of the monument. When I asked the guy why there was a loading dock so high up, he acted like it made the most sense in the world.

The Joy of Management

2004-04-29T19:18:00.000-07:00

I was recently asked to write some documentation for my work to educate all of our users about the new faxing program we're using after we upgrade to XP.

I had never used the old program that we were upgrading from, so I had to learn it all from scratch. Faxing, in and of itself, is pretty boring. But, the guy who asked me to do the document told me to come up with a creative title for it... I guess that was a mistake on his part, given that "fax" begins with an 'f' and has a nice hard consonant in it. After I put the finishing touches the documentation, I decided to work on the title, because the working title of Just the Fax, Maam was way too generic. I mulled some ideas in my head... Fax on the Beach, How to Fax without Really Trying, etc...

I finally ended up going with The Joy of Fax. It was short and comical, yet deliciously innuendous (look Ma! I made up an adjective!) enough that I didn't think I would be flogged over it. Well, when I presented my masterpiece to the guy who requested it, he and the other guy on the project thought the name was funny, but I'm not sure if they knew why they thought it was funny. I was happy that it was accepted, so I distributed it out to the XP team for any suggestions.

It just so happens that my supervisor was on the distribution list for that team, and he sent an reply, CC'ing the rest of the distribution list, that the name, though catchy, needed to be changed. He was afraid that the document might end up in court sooner or later, and the opposing attourney would "have a field day" with it, by saying that we don't take our training materials seriously, and so on and so forth. I didn't fight it. I reluctantly changed my brilliant title to the much more flaccid Introducing FaxPlus.

I believe that everyone I spoke with still preferred the original title, though. Would you have blocked that title?

Trials and Tribblelations

2004-04-27T22:17:00.000-07:00

Man, if my truck sucked anymore, it'd be inside out.

Now, my truck is making a loud... knocking/putting noise when my RPMs go up. It just started today after I got so mad about it not starting immediately that I pushed the gas too fast and I heard a kind of clank sound, followed by the current constant sound. It might be something around the carburetor (yes, it's that old). It has also had an oil leak for as long as I can remember. I don't know how much worse it can get. Oh yeah, it's now burning oil enough to put out blue smoke. I have to take it in to the shop tomorrow, so that I can get an estimate and get it fixed soon after. Otherwise, my truck will give up the ghost this week and give me an ulcer.

In case it never makes it out of the shop, here's the last known photo of my truck.

A Bunch of the Boys were Whooping it up

2004-03-02T23:23:00.000-08:00

How are we supposed to believe them when girls say, "No means no?"
When did they become so literal all of a sudden?
Why didn't no mean "no" when I asked, "Is anything wrong?"
And for that matter, why didn't yes mean "yes" when I asked, "Is it ok if I go out tonight?"
Or what about the grey areas, like "I don't care" when she really meant, "I don't care where we eat, but you had better know exactly where I want to go because there's only one place in this town that I like to eat and I always get the same thing there and God help you if you take me to that stupid place where they sing "Happy Birthday" but with a messed up tune every night that you know I hate...

Happy Birthyesterday!

2004-01-28T23:28:00.000-08:00

Yesterday was my birthday. My first one after marriage. It was going pretty good, I guess. My wife forgot it was my birthday until I told her that my Mom and sister had called that morning to tell me "Happy Birthday." It doesn't bug me, though. She had already bought me my gift last week (she bought it indirectly through me, the headphones [but not the ones in that picture, the normal ones]), and I don't care about birthdays. She went out and bought me my favorite kind of cake, ice cream cake. Well, my favorite kind of ice cream cake is officially made at Carvel, but Michigan has like one of them in the whole state. I'll have to take her to a Carvel when we get back so I can show her what she's missing. Anyone else been to a Carvel, ever? Probably not...

Anyways, I received a few more calls with more wishes, some cards, a gift last week, and apparently a package came in today for me. I get to go open it when I get home in a few.

Of the three of us who work at the help desk here, two of us have our birthdays within two days of each other. So, we celebrated today with me bringing in Chinese food from Yen Ching, which was pretty good. I'll have to try a sit-down meal there sometime.

I guess I have a close proximity to Shadoe's birthday from rcaster1138 fame.

You might be interested to know that I share a birthday with Richard Lewis of Boku fame; Christy "Pretty coed" Taylor from Kelly Kelly, Weird Science, and Saved by the Bell: The New Class; and David Pearson the famous boom operator from Moulin Rouge.

Jealous much?

Last week on The Wayne Infect

2003-12-22T01:52:00.000-08:00

It's been a while since I wrote anything, due to my moving and newfound business. I wish I could pretend like anyone cared about what I write enough to miss it, though. It's rough moving and having to face the fact that you're going to be here for a very long time. Everything tastes just a little more bitter when you squeeze the lemon of long-term commitment onto the candy of a life with someone you love. It's probably nothing now compared to how it could have been or could be later, but I learned that when you raise the stakes you should play your cards smarter. I am finding out that small jokes that used to be meaningless and flirtatious now have potentially dangerous insinuations. And the mood of any given day is pivoting on vocal inflection, facial expression, and, most importantly, timing. It's also probably best to avoid talking about how long it's been since you've really fought. You're just asking for trouble. None of this is to say that I'm miserable here. In fact, I'm enjoying myself a lot. One of the best parts about living here is that I get to really be free from the familial fetters that have long restrained my personality and I really feel I'm at liberty to show my inner self. I guess, here, I have no inner self, since it's all out there in the open. And that... is very liberating. When people respond positively to me and what I say or do, it's a high unlike anything else. It is the most genuine feeling in the world to be liked by people who have never met you before right then and don't know what family you came from. All they can see is what you show them. Apparently, I'm a generally likable person by myself. I don't think I'm really popular, but I try to lighten things when I'm around and it seems to work for the most part. (note: do not attempt to lighten things at the climax of a dramatic movie or when having something called a "serious talk"... also, if you're having a "serious" anything while you're driving, don't touch the radio, even if your favorite song is playing too low for you to enjoy it... this might be considered a faux pas) Besides all of this though, my fiancee really seems to be proud of me for doing the things that I've been doing and that is also one of the greatest feelings you can ever enjoy... to be respected and admired by someone else as much as you respect and admire her. I always want to make her happy because that, by itself, is a great reward.

I saw the Return of the King this past week. Such a great ending to a great series. But, I would have liked to see the death scene that got cut because of time (it was already 3½ hours... what's another 7 minutes?) Also, the could have chopped some part of the ending out... man, that was long. They could have ended it in about 6 different places. While the ending was building to the real ending, I kept running through my head all the ways Hollywood could have screwed up such a great movie. Example: Sam comes home to get married, and I thought Frodo could have been his best man... then, when the preacher asks, "May I please have the ring?" Sam looks at Frodo and Frodo looks back at him, then they both go, "Not again!" and start laughing. Freeze frame, fade to credits and some Three Doors Down song. I must have thought up 3 different crappy endings while I completely missed the real one. I was laughing pretty hard, though.

Somehow, probably a result of our conversation at the Magic Wok, I ended up sitting down to watch Mona Lisa Smile. I knew long before the movie was ever released that I wasn't going to enjoy it. I don't know when I first began openly hating Julia Roberts, but I've always been sure of it in my mind. If I were more famous, I'd love to make a huge issue of it, and maybe it could be my personal beef, as I've always wanted to have one. I can say there isn't one thing about her that I really enjoy. Like a female Tom Cruise, she's famous without a cause (then again, who isn't?) and doesn't seem to mind flaunting that at every given opportunity. The fact that the leading cast was entirely female, piled on top the obvious implications of the trailer I'd been treated to at least three times previous, let me know that if Julia Roberts couldn't sink this ship singlehandedly, she had a lot of thinly veiled plot points and Julia Stiles (you guessed it, not a fan) to assist her. Don't get me wrong, I payed attention to the movie and picked up on the subtle counterpoints as well. But it wasn't enough to dig me out of my deep whole of pre-movie prejudice, solidified by a 95% female audience who watched along with me (and shot me a looks when I mocked the movie as usual to Em). To top it all off, the contraband Snickers® Crunchers Pop'ables we picked up at the grocery store wasn't the right kind (it was supposed to be regular Snickers®... the Crunchers have this hard caramel brittle-like center). Apparently, Raisinets® are in short supply this time of year. I'm hoping she'll make good on her promise to see Stuck on You with me soon. At least then I can see Greg Kinnear and know that the Farrelly Brothers will keep me as entertained I want to be.

Oh, and if you don't like these links I added, bite me.

/me plays his "Moving to Michigan Excuse Card" to get out of posting anything to his LiveJournal

2003-12-07T16:41:00.000-08:00

I like to think that I came up with everything clever that I copy off of others.

I'm way too tired for no reason, right now. I'm leaving on Monday morning to drive to Michigan with my fiancee and her mother. This is probably one of the most stressful things I've done in my life, right along side... nothing. I am simultaneously the most brilliantly gifted and retardedly immature young man my friends and family know. I don't know how I've seemed to conjure up more controversy than Michael Jackson in a Huggies commercial. If enough of the wrong people tell me I'm wrong, that makes me want to work incredibly hard to show them how wrong they are and how in-control I can potentially be. It's flatteringly sickening how it's assumed that I'm incapable of sustaining a decent living in another state. I love being told that I need to get more experience before I get more experience. Some close friends were even kind enough to suggest that I "think about it" before I make such a hasty decision. How can you not laugh at someone who assumes you have just chosen to move 11 hours away from your family and home town of 22 years like I just decided that I do want fries with that. I realize that nobody that would probably read this is involved in this situation. But, if you don't talk to me every day, you don't know what's going on. Frankly, if I don't ask you for your opinion, there's a reason... it isn't a coincidence that your quick level-headedness and abiding love of voicing your opinion just happened to slip my mind right as I was saying goodbye to you. Even if anybody turns out to be right, and I did make a mistake in moving, I am sure not going to let on about it, now. And I'm pretty sure that I don't care to move back to this thriving metropolis of sages.

I think that up until a couple of days ago, I had been handling it perfectly. But with pressures mounting like buffalos in heat, my headaches are closer to headquakes and my stomach turns like an acid washing machine whenever the topic of moving is expected to be brought up. Apparently, my defense mechanism is humor, and it shows pretty plainly to those who confront me regarding my choice. I'm not writing this to complain, and I didn't plan to write about this. I had a decently funny bit of observational comedy stored up for this entry. However, some things don't turn out the way you expect. The best part about this entry is that the consequences here are minimal. And that makes writing here all the more appealing. This way, I can vent, and fewer people get hurt.

I Got 99 Problems...

2003-11-19T12:07:00.000-08:00

Sorry I haven't exactly been keeping up with LJ as well as I have been. I know this affects so many people. I've been out to MI, had a few interviews, and been busy with other stuff (read: lazy). It looks like I might be taking a job up in MI pretty soon here. That being the case, I will be posting even less great material for you to enjoy, true believer.

I sincerely regret my lack of posting. As a way of making amends, I whipped up (read: ripped out of Girl Hair) this innocuous holiday image for my icon. Enjoy it, as much as you can enjoy an image of a cartoon Santa (which is probably only funny if you watch Space Ghost).

2003-11-15T11:10:00.000-08:00

You know what movie would scare me? Show a boy who keeps going in the bathroom and rinsing his face. Then show the boy all grown up, but he still washes his face compulsively. You just know something's going to happen to this guy.

We can still have Halloween fun

2003-10-30T17:55:00.000-08:00

My Mom will be getting a knee replacement tomorrow, so I won't be around for most of the day.

I'm also going to be up in Michigan for a week or so soon after that. Might be getting a job interview (hopefully). What I'm trying to say, is I hate trick-or-treaters. So, stay away from my house, because I'm going to turn off all the lights and sit in a closet with a flashlight and a bag of Milky Way Midnights all for ME!!

I don't even do this in real life

2003-10-29T21:25:00.000-08:00

I thought it was funny how I visted someone who didn't even know they were my friend as well as the same person twice. Maybe that's sad...

My LiveJournal Trick-or-Treat Haul
seinjunkie goes trick-or-treating, dressed up as The Dixie Chicks' Political Advisor.
frustratednsad tricks you! You get an evangelical pamphlet.
marcus132 gives you 2 red-orange lemon-flavoured pieces of bubblegum.
slfcllednowhere gives you 8 tan apple-flavoured pieces of taffy.
thapsychlone tricks you! You lose 3 pieces of candy!
tisok tricks you! You lose 5 pieces of candy!
seinjunkie ends up with 2 pieces of candy, and an evangelical pamphlet.
Go trick-or-treating! Username:
Another fun meme brought to you by rfreebern.

This Just In...

2003-10-26T21:14:00.000-08:00

A new report from the Federal Bureau of Investigation indicates that they have located the infamous "Love Shack" connected to a particular model of bomber planes and some awful memories. FBI Director Donald Horton declined to comment on the location of the notorious shanty, but he assured the community that, contrary to speculation, "The Love Shack is in fact a large, old place where 'getting together' is strictly prohibited."

You Should All Learn A Lesson From Me... both of you

2003-10-24T09:21:00.000-07:00

Remember that freaking dancing baby that was popular around 1997? I was going through an old VHS tape last night from around that time, and I found the 12th American Comedy Awards. For those who don't remember (who can blame you?) this was the one where Andy Dick danced next to the dancing baby on stage, but when he tore his tuxedo off, his diaper wasn't fastened well enough and he ended up naked. Seeing that made me wonder (as things tend to do) what happened to the worst fad on the internet besides blogs. So, I found this dancing-baby.net which kind of made me sad. I guess some things never change.

In other news, I stayed up playing Soldier of Fortune II online until about 4:30 am... so when I finally got to bed around 5:30, it wasn't too long before my fiancee called me on her way to work at 6:20 ish... I tried to go back to sleep after that, but it wasn't happening. I guess I only needed an hour. I took a shower and now, I'm up way earlier than I would have been otherwise, and slightly less irritated. I've got so much of the day left, I don't know what to do... (play Soldier of Fortune, maybe?)

Ambition Lost

2003-10-21T01:49:00.000-07:00

I feel so unmotivated recently. There's all these things that I'm supposed to be doing now, and I'm doing none of them. I was thinking how crappy that is, until I thought, "Is anybody doing what they're supposed to be doing?" I think everybody lives their whole life saving to do what they think they want to do. In the grocery store yesterday, there was a bagger who looked to be in his mid forties. I couldn't help but think this wasn't how he had expected things to turn out. If he looked at me at all, he probably was thinking, "I remember when I was like you... gonna be strong, make a name for myself, get lots of money and 'pimp the hoes...' It'll all change when you have your first kid in a year... You'll have to get a second job to pay for your gas for your third and fourth jobs. You're mother will move in with your mother-in-law, and they'll both move in with you and your kid and his mother. Then you'll be the man of the house, after the super dies in an unexpected choking and drowning. But you won't be the man long when the boys in blue come after you, with the police right behind them. They'll throw the book at you. But you won't be quick enough to dodge that book... No, no... You won't dodge that book because it was thrown so fast and so hard and with a curve like from Greg Maddux on a good day. Before long you'll be sitting in a cozy, stone-cold cell... squatting over a small bucket and getting raped by small criminals. Then you won't feel like choking anyone... nope... you'll just swear on the day you were born that you would leave that so-called "white collar" penitentiary and go on to make it big and buy you a big ol' boat with a lifesaver on the front... and a big blue decal on the side that reads "$.$. Money" like you're Scrooge McDuck. And you'll be glad that you found out about the money laundering and pyramid schemes that made you the rich little squirt you were going to be back then, and will be, when you get out... But you'd stay in for way longer than you expected, playing blackjack with a chalk drawing and counting your fingers that aren't broken, yet. You'll wish you had a proper education, instead of your fancy bachelor's degree, and you'll wish you knew how to not use run-on sentences. But it won't matter anymore, then. No sir, it won't matter to the warden, or the guards, or the judge, or your prison-man-pimp. You went from wanting to be somebody, to wanting to be somebody in no time. And it only cost you your dignity and the good years of your life. And when you finally get out, you'll be glad to find a job bagging groceries for a chain of grocery stores for slightly less than minimum wage after taxes. And you'll be stared at by 22 year old punks, like you, who will look at you and hope to everything that is decent and fair and right and beautiful, that they will not end up where you are. But you will end up there, because it is the way of all things. And you will die, and noone will notice. Not even the local paper's obituary section that you paid $10 to submit it to before you were actually dead to see what it would look like. You'll have to learn your lesson the hard way, just like I did. You'll have to learn that your daughter grew up, while you threw up. Your wife was getting banged, when you were getting screwed. Your maid was working for someone else, because you could never afford her in the first place. And your car is still there, right where you left it at the dealership, because you couldn't afford one of those either. The only thing you managed to salvage out of the whole experience is a slightly better physique thanks to the vigorous activity in the weight room and also because of your weight-lifting. You've got that and some grocery bagging skills you retained from junior high, when you used to practice bagging produce day and night, until your thumbs would bleed all over the cucumbers. Oh, and you'll also have your memories. Memories of a better time. A time when things were more like a dream. But you don't even care about me, do you? All you care about is your cell phones, and your internets, and your sport utility vehicles. Yeah, I'm a grocery bagger... and I wouldn't trade places with you for the world... yes I would."

WAYne

2003-10-11T04:47:00.000-07:00

Our boss came stomping in the break room. His cross expression told us he was mad without a word being spoken. I thought, "Uh oh... What did I do? ..." A refreshing feeling swept over me. For once I was innocent! The boss went on explaining how someone had called his wife last night and made some "graphic sexual threats." Boy, I'd hate to be the guy who did something that stupid. I remember when I did something just like that. It wasn't that long ago... except I called the boss' wife late at night and asked her for some favors. It was pretty close to that though.

When I looked up, the boss had finished talking and was making eye contact with me. It was kind of a knowing glance between us, almost as if to say... "Hey, this might be something you would do, but we both know you didn't." Man, I love this job.

When I was twenty-two...

2003-09-29T20:45:00.000-07:00

I borrowed a Sinatra CD from my brother-in-law called "The Very Good Years" which was a compilation. So, I've been listening to that since yesterday. And the songs are all in my head.

I don't know what it is, but Frank has a way of making everything fade away. No matter what is going on in my life, or the world, none of it matters when I'm listening to these songs. It's really something I haven't experienced before. I have always loved standards, but Frank does 'em right. It's a real mood changer. This is what music should be all about. It lets me escape my frustrations for a little bit, not dwell on them, like a lot of current stuff seems to do.

I guess Frank doesn't appeal to everyone, but... why not?

WAYne

I thought I was good at spelling

2003-09-25T23:07:00.000-07:00

I thought "fiancée" was the only way to spell it. But dictionary.com says that "fiancée" means the woman to whom a man is engaged. The correct word for me is "fiancé."

Man, do I feel stupid.

WAYne

I wanted to stay and chat, but I was otherwise engaged

2003-09-25T13:35:00.000-07:00

I just downloaded all of my engagement pictures today. I picked my favorite one and I'm posting it here. I know my hair looks like crap, but it was really windy there. We went back and took pictures on the spot where I proposed on the end of the pier in Grand Haven, MI. That's where the second picture was taken.

Enjoy,
WAYne

2003-09-24T20:47:00.000-07:00

Have you seen all of the pharmaceutical commercials that are playing now? The commercials don't even tell you what the drugs are for! What is the big secret with what drugs do? Are we supposed to know what they are for? They just show the one woman in her mid-thirties playing with some kid. Soft music plays in the background. The narrator does his voiceover after fifteen seconds are over... "Don't you want to get back to how life should be? Ask your doctor if Drixoracetamorphine is right for you. Drixoracetamorphine may cause abdominal cramps, unhealthy weight loss, impotency, acute bladder control, and a strong desire to dismember a relative." I have no idea how I'm supposed to know what to ask my doctor for my next appointment 8 years from now. How am I even a candidate? Is it even for men? Does my health insurance cover it? That's the real reason you have to ask your doctor, because he gets a cut of it. When you ask him, he leaves the room, but he's really checking how good your insurance is... "I could make out on this deal!" When he gets in the room again, he's all business, "We've determinied that you will be eligible for Drixoracetamorphine." You get all excited about your impotency... When the doctor gets home, he tells his wife, "Great job on those commercials, honey... Kids, we can keep the pool!"

WAYne

mean ol' pole cat

2003-09-24T17:40:00.000-07:00

So, I've been splitting wood today. We had the wind from the hurricane uproot a tree and fall onto a car. Plus three large limbs fell in our backyard. One did no damage, one crushed a shed, one mangled a steel merri-go-round.

You might not think so, but splitting wood is a lot of fun. But it's nowhere near as easy as it looks at first. I had to develop my technique a lot before people would sing the theme song to Disney's Paul Bunyan every time I swung my maul. Now, I'm pretty much getting the split in one shot. Which looks very cool, and has a great sense of self-accomplishment that goes along with it.

Once I started splitting this particular limb, I noticed that the wood was rotten. It smells like fermentation, if that makes sense at all. We need to get this tree down, before it falls on something big with me inside of it. And the tree is old and huge. There's so much to do...

WAYne

Cigarette?

2003-09-24T03:35:00.000-07:00

How many times have I stayed up so late doing absolutely nothing at all, that I see the sun peeking over the horizon? Way too many.

Today, I watched all six episodes of Police Squad. Man! Can I just say that the show was phenomenal? I laughed like crazy the entire time I watched them. I laughed until it hurt. I can't remember the last time I watched something that funny. It really struck a nerve with me, and I don't think I'll forget about the show any time soon. I hope they come out with it on DVD. This also gives me a reason to really watch the Naked Gun movies, although I don't know if they'll be as good.

I also watched Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas, which I did not care for that much. maybe it's because I don't understand the "drugs" that the kids are into. I tried paying attention to the first 45 minutes, but I still wasn't really interested, so my mind drifted... back to Police Squad.

WAYne

What Am I Doing?

2003-09-22T05:08:00.000-07:00

I just looked at a job offer that was semi-appealing for a web designer / net administrator. Turned out it was for an anti-gun coalition. I couldn't, in good conscience, drive into work every day blaring gangsta rap from my speakers, clock into work and oppose gun ownership, then drive home, attend an NRA meeting, play some Soldier of Fortune II, talk to my fiancee about coming up and shooting with her dad, and sleep with a gun under my pillow. It's not right, is it?

Well is it?

Test Nails Me Again

2003-09-22T05:01:00.000-07:00

Conscious self	Overall self

Take Free Enneagram Test

Actually a very acurate portrayal of me, I believe. Good test.

What Happened To Talent?

2003-09-20T03:43:00.000-07:00

It used to be that musical performers would write their own songs, practice them, then perform them. That seems like a good system, right? It didn't take long before singers performed the songs written by others. That's fine, we can all deal with that. Somewhere along the line, dance steps were added into the songs to liven it up. I don't suppose anybody minded that, because it added something visually to the song.

I am now realizing that some entertainers have been skipping out on the writing (maybe because they can't read music?) and counting on their practice and performance to draw the crowds to their live shows. That's bad enough, but how many singers/dancers have chosen the lip-syncing over traditional performances in order to save their breath for the extensively choreographed dance numbers? So, what I'm left with is a someone dancing moves they didn't make up and not singing to pre-recorded music that they didn't write. If people want that, can't they just go to a strip club? I could do the exact same performance having never heard the song in my life.

How about this... sing the songs! Why does everything have to be a "One-Stop / Everything-At-Once Shop?" You really don't have to meet all of my entertainment needs in one show. Why can't you just pick one job and do it well? Maybe I'm the only one, but I've seen less show variety under a big top. Do you want to dance? Then shut up and dance. Do you want to sing? Stay put and sing. I mean, how many classy buffets do you know? See what I'm saying? If you can't do both without inhaling oxygen like it's "Glue Bottle Friday" at the local high school, then don't cheat your audience by mouthing the words. Because, these people didn't come to your show to hear the CD played back to them. They already know how that sounds. They want to hear what you sound like live.

I don't want to hear how tough "the road" is, because this is your job. Every person in that crowd spent some valuable nine to fives so they could come see you perform for them. That's all that you have to do, and you can't even do that right? I mean, come on! If your voice cracks and strains from singing all night, then that's good because it's only then that we know that you're really working, and secretly... we like it.

LiveJournal? more like... dead... something something

2003-09-16T03:02:00.000-07:00

I don't even know why I signed up for this. Oh yeah, Quinn. That's how a lot of things happened to me on the Internet.
I remember when I was an net infant and I found Quinn's Dana Carvey page. Then we talked on IM for a while. Somehow a few months later, I had my own website (still just as crappy thanks to procrastination of epic proportions).
That was late 1997.
I didn't even know how sloppy her handwriting was then.