If There's a Line, He'll Cross It

There's this guy at work, Mike-- which doesn't matter because there's like 10 Mikes around my area-- he does the most annoying thing... every day he's at work. There's a guy in the cube behind me whose last name is Parent. Whenever Mike walks past this guy's cube, and if he's in there, Mike will say, "Meet the parent." EVERY day, at least once a day, in the exact same tone, with the exact same inflection, and nobody thinks it's funny. In fact, it's gotten downright annoying. Why in the world would you lower yourself to a bad half-joke every day of your working life? Maybe he's senile. I know he's already cross eyed.

He also makes a point to ask me, "How's married life?" whenever we make awkward, cross eye contact. Also the exact same way every time. It takes everything in me to keep from beating the crap out of him after 7 months of putting up with it. I don't know how the guy he says it to deals with it. I would have ripped his eyes out (no cross-eyed joke intended).